>>>COMMUNICATION INTERCEPTED 09.36 GMT +1>>***>>
Good Evening and G’day to all on Earth.
This is the wednesday evening status report from space station Ashridge. Today a specialist electrical engineer docked in landing bay beta and commenced installation of inconceivable gubbinsy and wirey things to the recently adapted outer pod. A red alert warning from the strain gauge monitors indicates that internal pressure is rising to maximum design tolerances and a breach of the main pressure hull may be imminent and at current gradients this could happen tomorrow. Work is in hand by female crew to maintain pressure in any events.
The anti gravity toilet is working well, however with the impending breach increase in usage is anticipated. Crew morale is good, possibly as a result of high sun spot activity during the last 72 hours.
The following message is encrypted and recipients are advised to refer to keycode gamma epsilon.