Flys and Combats

A problem that has been infuriating me for some time now:

Why the hell can I not get my fly to stay done up when I have my army surplus combats on? I have several pairs and they ALL suffer from the same problem. Is this just me? Do I have some strange sort of effect on my trousers that makes them want to expose my knickers to the brisk British breeze?

My first TKD grading was a nightmare last year because the only suitable attire I had to wear was a pair of said combats and I had to continually keep checking myself for decency between kicks.

This cannot be a universal problem?! *imagines soldiers in combat flying low* So what do these garments have against me? I swear they conspire to undermine me.

And NO! I’m not lardy thank you very much.

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