Good Evening Europe.
Oh yes! It’s that time of year again, the highlight of the European calendar, the time when Europe dons it’s funky spandex, struts it’s crazy local ways, bursts into song and each country takes to the stage to perform their little cotton socks off (and judging by this year’s show, most of their clothes). Highly entertaining, and the voting not at all political, honest.
And the result of this year’s contest?
The result is conclusive – Europe hates us!
Not a single vote for the United Kingdom.
Hmm, anything to do with recent activities in Iraq?!! *eyes the rest of Europe suspiciously*
Ok, yes “Cry Baby” performed by Jemini WAS absolutely abysmal (btw anyone else notice that the male singer was sporting what I can only describe as a baby mullet bursting to grow up?!! mmmm tasty) but then so is every single piece of Eurovision fodder!
Tra la la la la.
My vote went to Austria, a truly stunning and memorable performance by a bouncing crazy loon, and some stuffed animal backing musicans with 2d bodies.
And the winner? Despite a close call between Russia’s lesbian schoolgirls (taTU), the Belgian entry sung in an invented language, and the Turkish belly dancers; of course the shimmying tummies got it.
Quality of lyrics? Emotive voices? Nah, get real. you didn’t really think it is a song contest?
Ahhhh, Europe, gotta love it.