Last night I got home from a very tiring session of Tang Soo Do and was lounged on the sofa idly sewing my new Global Karate patch onto my dobok and watching the local news. They kept advertising for a feature article on the danger of the brown recluse spider and drumming up interest by showing these horrific pictures of the carnage one small spider bite had done to a Georgia man’s back. The bite had poisoned a huge area of his skin around his shoulder blades and it had taken surgeons 4 attempts at surgery to cure the wound and six months in recovery. Pretty horrible. Anyhow, this trailer screamed out words of terror and warning, and seemed to promise a lowdown on how to watch out for and avoid the evil arachnid.
Finally, the actual article hit our screen. I had to laugh.
It started with the reporters all looking awfully concerned and hyping up the wrath of the brown recluse. As winter is drawing in and it’s getting cold these timid creatures are making YOUR house their home and can EAT you!! Da da daaaaaa. EEEEK!!
Cut to another reporter who gives a warning that the rest of the feature contains horrific graphic images which might disturb some people. Yikes?! What could be worse than those shots they showed in the build up to the feature? *gasp* ….Oh nothing at all….the dreadful pictures are the exact same ones they have showed already. Jeez!!
The rest of the article consisted of more general scaremongering and just as it looked like we were about to be given some actual useful factual information, oh nope, it cuts and we’re back to the reporters telling us how scary the spider is again. Good grief! What is up with these journalists? The news here seems to have been written by a self-satisfied clique of drunk teenagers who are simply enamoured to be on TV. I’m surprised they don’t stop and wave to their mums during broadcasts. Gah!
*quakes in boots and scans room for horrid poisonous spiders*