Bad dogs, bad dogs Whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do When they come for you?

Yesterday I was outside on the front porch with Genghis and chatting to the neighbour about his progress, when Laina came lolloping down the road to make trouble. She is a hussy and was soon flirting outrageously with Quince and rolling around, belly up, on the lawn.

Distracted by my conversation I didn’t notice Laina get bored toying with Quince’s emotions and making Genghis jealous, and I missed her sneak off behind me into the house. That dog is not allowed in our house. Visitors arrived over the road for my neighbour, beeping their horn impatiently and making her hurry off across to her property in a rush.

Laina took this moment to break from cover and head for home, and a distressed Quincy raced to the roadside after her. Laina’s gait seemed strange, she had a guilty stride and was struggling to hold onto something between her jaws. Something oblong, hard, and suspiciously like one of my dog’s bones. Thief! Genghis and Quince were both obviously upset.

I chased Laina up the road but by the time I reached her house she had jumped back over the fence and was assuming the air of a dog who hadn’t been walkabout and had in fact been lazing with her brother in their own garden the entire time. Of the bone there was no trace.

Wondering if I’d simply been mistaken I started to walk back to our place before deciding to double check her route home. Like a cop searching for drugs tossed by a suspect perp I checked beneath cars, trucks and through the grass and overgrowth at the side of the yards, and bingo! Concealed amongst the weeds was the evidence, freshly hidden.

Laina gazed at me as if to say “dunno what you’re on about, nothin’ to do with me, must have been some other dog that dropped that there!” and licked her foot.

I retrieved my dog’s gnaw bone and two very appreciative mutts got their property back.

Quince then got put on his lead and taken for a walk around the neighbourhood (Genghis is still in confinement and not allowed to exercise). We had a nice walk and Quince got to sniff lots of things dogs like to sniff.

When we got back to the house though I walked through the front door and was confronted with a strong, nasty, warm and pungent whiff of dog pee. Great. Not only did Laina steal my boy’s toy when she sloped off into our home, she left a nice big wet patch on the carpet too. Bad bad stinky dog.

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