Creepy rubber thing in the bed

The evenings are now dark and when we get home from work we can’t run around in the back yard with the dogs anymore. The temperature is dropping and my coat has been pulled from the deepest recesses of the closet and dusted down. When I get into bed at night the sheets feel icy and my tootsies don’t like it.

“No problem” I thought. A nice hot water bottle will solve that little problem, condition the bed for sleepy time and make my toes all toasty.

So, on Sunday Bill and I resolved to find me a hot water bottle. After having no success at several shops, and getting very strange looks when we asked staff if they stocked them, we eventually found a Boots equivalent pharmacy that said they had some on the shelves.

“On the shelves, among the feminine hygiene products” the shop assistant said knowingly.

This confused me somewhat, but we wandered up and down the aisle to which we were directed, scouring the “feminine hygiene products” for any sign of my hot water bottle.

Nothing.

We did another tour of the store. Finally, the shop assistant came over and took us back to the ladies section. There, from it’s hiding place on the bottom shelf, he pulled out a discreet box and handed it to me with an amused look on his face.

Examining the box I saw why.

It seems that Americans are even more crazy than I first credited. Here, it seems, a hot water bottle is not a nice way to warm the sheets and thaw frozen toes. It comes with tubes and some strange plastic attachments and as a very horrific life as an enema or douche bag! YUCK!!!

I am disturbed. Very disturbed.

Unfortunately the box was sealed so we couldn’t examine the contents closely, but seeing as this was the nearest I’m probably going to get to a hot water bottle in Atlanta we decided to buy it and hope that the rubber bottle was at least no different from your common garden British bottle.

At the till the assistant grinned at us while we made the purchase. It’s for making the bed cosy DAMMIT!

Once in the truck I was to be disappointed. The bottle can only be used for tap water and the stopper doesn’t seem as substantial as you’d get on a decent English version. Drat.

We used the hose to clean the fish tank.

Nice refreshing cleansing enema anyone?

4 Responses to Creepy rubber thing in the bed

  1. strangepixel November 11, 2004 at 9:00 pm #

    *hmmm* I wonder what K wants posted for crimble from her daddy? *grin*

  2. missbumpkin November 11, 2004 at 9:38 pm #

    Eww that’s icky!
    With your new employment status maybe you could set up a business importing proper hot water bottles. How on earth can people survive winter without them?
    Yesterday I got a scrummy kingsize velvet throwover for my bed. It’s a kind of reddy/pinky/purply, part-embroidered patchwork affair. It is soooo, snug! Lucky, as I was awake most of the night with an icky tummy and had to spend a lot of today in bed recovering. Grr!
    Hopefully I’ll be ok tomorrow as I’m off to London, rar!!!

    Big hugs and hot water dogs
    xxx

  3. strangepixel November 11, 2004 at 9:00 pm #

    *hmmm* I wonder what K wants posted for crimble from her daddy? *grin*

  4. missbumpkin November 11, 2004 at 9:38 pm #

    Eww that’s icky!
    With your new employment status maybe you could set up a business importing proper hot water bottles. How on earth can people survive winter without them?
    Yesterday I got a scrummy kingsize velvet throwover for my bed. It’s a kind of reddy/pinky/purply, part-embroidered patchwork affair. It is soooo, snug! Lucky, as I was awake most of the night with an icky tummy and had to spend a lot of today in bed recovering. Grr!
    Hopefully I’ll be ok tomorrow as I’m off to London, rar!!!

    Big hugs and hot water dogs
    xxx

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