Hey, Mum and Dad! Do you recognise this place?
I warned Bill.
I told him it was weird.
That it was crazy and very strange, that the wait staff were odd, and that it was hard to know what was going on here.
Did he listen?
His tummy got the better of him and I ended up with the most expensive salad I’ve probably ever had.
That’s right. We went to Red Top Mountain this afternoon, and ended up having tea at the restaurant at the end of the trail. It’s a bizarre place. You get seated by waiters who half wait on you, yet it is a buffet situation with a fixed price menu, the details of which are only printed on a poster on the door as if it’s a special, but the place isn’t exactly exclusive. Note the bare table seatings and definite canteen feel.
You walk into the lodge and end up seated at a table before you know it, wondering what on earth is going on, thinking that something is terribly, terribly wrong there, and panicking about how on earth you are going to afford to eat there when all you wanted was a nice snack at the end of your stroll.
Bill actually asked the waiter how the restaurant was supposed to work and the chap turned away from him and mumbled into his chest. I have no idea what his reply was.
I ended up paying $17 for a small plate of salad and a stale inch square of chocolate cake. I think Bill fared better, but then he is a fan of Southern BBQ and that was the theme for the buffet this month.
Very, very strange.
I felt so uncomfortable in this lodge that when Sam started getting squally and wanting to be fed halfway through tea I found myself embarrassed and stood up in the ladies bathroom trying to satisfy him. This place just makes me feel totally out of my element.
Still, I’m glad that Bill was just as bemused as we were and that it wasn’t just a case of a gaggle of Brits being confused by America when I came here with Mumsy and Dadsy.
I wonder if anyone ever eats there intentionally?
The actual Red Top Mountain stroll we took was very pleasant. We put Sam in the Baby Bjorn and he fell fast asleep on Bill’s chest immediately. He snoozed all the way up the path to the restaurant and then became surprisingly alert on the homeward stroll. I carried him back as he kept wanting to be topped up with the milky milky, but most of the time he seemed to really take in his surroundings and gazed at the trees in wonder.
We saw numerous frogs jump hurriedly away from our footsteps and were startled by a huge deer as we made our way back to Perdie.
As we drove towards Red Top Mountain we’d noticed a huge traffic jam forming on the homeward route. We decided to try to find a different way home and got totally confused and lost trying to make our way to the alternative interstate. This resulted in us driving through Redneck Heaven, a staggering wonderland of mobile homes stretching out for miles.
I was particularly impressed by one especially shifty looking mobile home that looked terribly ramshackle, but had a most exquisite veranda tacked onto the front of it.
Another mobile home had an amazing array of cheesy statuary arranged in tableaus around the house. We were quite jealous. Still, Monkey Fireman is a pretty good start for our little envisioned slice of redneck insanity.
We also passed an extermination company that had a very impressive giant bug attacking it’s roof. I wanted to stop and take a picture but Bill thought that the rednecks might take offense! We kept driving. Really, really fast.
Despite getting turned around and going in the opposite direction to which we thought we were headed every time we chose a new road to go down we eventually made it home. Our little excursion made me very appreciative of Braeburn Circle. It could be so much worse.
Sam got put to bed and I’ve been having a girly evening in the front room with a chick flick, wine and some Cadbury’s. I miss Rebecca and Nicky! xxx love you!