I’m feeling like a pretty rotten mum at the moment. I’m just not sure how to deal with my little independent child at the moment.
I took Sam to the McKoy swimming pool in the afternoon to cool down and meet his friends. I’ve been struggling to keep him from racing around on the concrete skirting the pool and yesterday was no exception. I feel like I am constantly yelling his name futilely trying to get his attention. Trying to explain that he needs to slow down and walk around the poolside is seemingly a lost cause. Unlike the other toddlers he doesn’t like to splash in the shallows and stay close to mum. He prefers to charge around and I have to constantly chase after him trying to keep him safe and out of trouble. I had to buy him a little pair of swim shoes so that he doesn’t scrape up his toes or burn his soles on the hot concrete.
Yesterday was no exception. I was already exhausted from taking him to the park and the shops in the morning.
At Avondale Park he had Quincy and I charging across the hot playing field desperately trying to get to him before he disappeared out of the park boundary and onto the road.
While I was browsing the swimsuit tops at Target looking for something more secure that Sam hopefully couldn’t hang from and pull off, he unbuckled himself from the trolley and escaped. He moved so fast my belly and I couldn’t keep up and he was soon lost among the aisles. I was desperately waddling from department to department trying to spot my little red blur of running sunsuit and tracking the sound of his laughter. Other customers pointed out the last direction my wayward screeching child was seen running and I eventually caught up with him when several other mothers got together and managed to head him off for me.
Oh and I almost forgot the screaming scenario we had in Ross because I’d made him leave his Thomas ball in the car so we wouldn’t lose it. In fits of tears he refused to sit in the trolley and kept standing up, lurching to grab hold of me. I also had shoppers here start to reprimand me for “letting” my son stand in the trolley, so I ended up allowing Sam to climb up into my arms (where he gave me the most wonderful firm hug), and leaving the store.
So at the pool I was hoping for a more relaxing afternoon. This was not to be. Fed up of chasing him to avail and burning my feet on the near molten concrete I sat down in the water with Alyssa for a split second and watched as my son took off running again. I think everyone in the pool must know Sam’s name the number of times I have to yell it to try to get his attention. On this occasion he also had a lifeguard chasing him trying to get him to slow down. It was too late though and my little guy took a tumble, went head over heels and landed right on his face.
I feel awful. It looks so bad. Sam only screamed and screamed for a minute or two though, and then he was back to his normal self and wanting to charge around again. I spent my afternoon getting more and more frazzled trying to tame him. I also worried myself silly that he might have done more than grazed himself badly and was constantly evaluating him for any other damage. He did worry me when he started stuttering over words. I couldn’t tell if he was just happy and enjoying the sounds he was making, or was struggling to say well practiced nouns. Thankfully I decided it was the former.
When he fell asleep on the way home I took him into the house and curled up on the sofa with him on my chest so I could keep a close eye on him. I was very grateful when Bill arrived home and could take a look at him too. He reassured me that Sam was just a normal little boy and that’s what boys do. Still, I’d told Bill about the accident over the phone and he was still pretty shocked when he saw the extent of Sam’s busted eye. You can’t really see on these photos but he was bleeding from scrapes up above his eye on his forehead too. I guess what these photos really show is that Sam is in dire need of a haircut!
I am seriously questioning whether I can continue to take him out swimming. Normally it wouldn’t be so much of a problem but as Beatrice Belly is getting bigger I am getting slower, and more achy and tired. I just can’t keep up with him at the moment. I am getting really fed up that he doesn’t listen to me. The other mums get to sit in the cool water and chat while their toddlers play safely and happily nearby. It’s not like he’s really being naughty or bad or anything. He’s having an awful lot of fun and really enjoys going “schwimmint”. I just can’t get him to understand that he has to stay with me, and not run around, for his own safety. I wish he would just splash and play in the water with everyone else. I feel like such a useless mum right now.
I was walking along behind Sam through the water later in the afternoon and heard one wallowing woman cattily whispering to her friend and questioning “Who is with that little boy in the green?” I turned around and responded “Well, that would be me.” That put a fun look on her face, but then they both got up and went to the other end of the pool to no doubt continue to bitch.