Sam is sat on the toilet. He’s taken the toddler potty seat and decided to go pee pee in the main bathroom toilet. I’m sat on the edge of the tub, ready to be of assistance and reminding him to tuck his penis in so he doesn’t spray all over the floor.
Sam – Sammy got a penis!
Me -Yes, you have a penis.
Sam – Daddy’s got a penis too!
Me – Yes, that’s right, Daddy has a penis too.
Sam – Mummy got a penis!
Me – No, Mummy doesn’t have a penis. Mummy is a girl.
Sam – Baby Bea has a penis Mummy?!
Me – No, Baby Bea doesn’t have a penis. Daddy and Sam have penises. You are boys. Baby Bea is a girl. Girls don’t have a penis.
Sam *thinking* – Sammy got a bottom!…Mummy’s got a bottom!
Me – Yes, Mummy’s got a … bottom. Now, come on, tuck it in and go pee pee please Sam.
Sam, doing as he’s told and giggling – Tickles! Tickles! Tickle penis Mummy!
He stands up and comes over to me, thrusting his naked privates towards me, inviting tickles, as I try to back off desperately thinking of a way to handle this.
Sam – Tickles! Tickle bottom Mummy!
Uh oh, I’m not sure I like where this is going. I start thinking about broaching the notion of private parts, but he’s only two and I want him to be comfortable with himself. I don’t really want to make this into a big deal.
Me – Tickle! Tickle! No, I’m going to tickle Sam’s…ears! Tickle ears! Oooh they look ticklish! Tickle! Tickle!
Sam shies away from my wiggling tickle fingers laughing and goes back to do his business. Phew, inappropriate moment averted.