I went to pick Sam up from preschool this morning and was quietly taken away to one side by the teacher. I was a little confused and thought maybe I’d get a positive update on how Sam was today at school because yesterday, when I’d been parent helper for the morning, he’d been very out of sorts. Instead I was handed a yellow slip and told that Sam was involved in an “incident” at 10.30 when he got into an argument over a book with another child:
“Sam and another child wanted to have the same book. Sam stood and stepped on the other child’s hand.
Sam was not injured. The other child’s hand had redness and swelling at the time of the incident. An hour later there was no swelling, bleeding or redness.
Child was comforted but refused ice pack.”
I wasn’t really sure quite how to respond to the teacher about this, other than nod, look appropriately concerned and take the yellow incident report copy from her hands.
On the drive home I tried to have a talk with Sam about what had happened and we did manage what I felt was a good conversation that connected with him. He was able to tell me what he did and that he hurt someone and that he was sorry. I thought I had got across my disappointment and concern for him hurting others, and we agreed that hurting someone is not acceptable behaviour. We talked about what to do in the future should he want something that another child is using and Sam said that he should have asked the other child if he could look at the book when he was finished with it. I thought I’d got through to him.
I was wrong. That afternoon Sam was absolutely mean to his little sister and had to be pulled away from a crying and distraught Bea many, many times as he stood, stamped and rolled on top of her to resolve toy conflicts. Very frustrating.
Later as we were sat at the dinner table eating I was telling Sam and Bea our plans for the next day. We have a playdate arranged at a friend’s house. She has two sons, one a little younger than Sam, and the other around Bea’s age. Sam was happy to hear that he was going to go see some friends tomorrow, but then when I mentioned Sam’s friend’s name Sam popped out with a concerned “J* hits me!”
Ha! You know how it feels then Sam?!
We then had another little water off a duck’s back talk about hurting others and being hit before Sam’s thoughts turned back to rolling on top of Bea… “I rolled on her Mummy, I was a steam roller Mummy! Excavators have two scoops, look Mummy! *holds one arm in front and the other behind, does scooping motion*” Aaaargh!
Oooh, maybe I ought to stow the slip in Sam’s document file to be brought out to shame him as an adult?!